


The same but different?!

by Luni_Ambrose



Category: All Elite Wrestling, Professional Wrestling
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Online Dating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:47:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27119077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luni_Ambrose/pseuds/Luni_Ambrose
Summary: Can you really tell someone not to harm themselves when you do it for a living?
Relationships: Chuck Taylor/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 5





	The same but different?!

**Author's Note:**

> Triggerwarning: mentioned self-harm in different forms - as part of bpd and as part of blading in wrestling
> 
> Please don't read if you're triggered by any of this.

Mindlessly she was swiping through the dating app, not really sure why. She wasn’t sure if there would be anyone in the world who could accept and eventually even love her. More often than not she felt like a total failure. With her mental health issues it was hard to even find friends. How in the world she could find love?

At least she was more than honest with her profile, listing a few of her problems right away. 

Some of the guys she just swiped right because they had cute animals on their profile picture. Well, same with Chuck. His face was barely visible, his dog covering the lower half completely. Only his eyes telling that he was smiling behind the dog. So she swiped right and nearly forgot about him right away.

When Chuck was swiping through the app he was looking for maybe a hookup, not really for a relationship. He stopped when he stumbled across her picture. All he could think was that her dark eyes displayed an incredible amount of pain.   
Even though she had a soft smile on her lips he could tell that she wasn’t happy at all. He scrolled through the profile, reading about her. Jennifer was five years younger than him, from the same area and was dealing with anxiety, depression and borderline personality disorder.   
Chuck needed to google the last one.   
He read a little bit about it before returning to the app to swipe right. Somehow he was curious about her. 

**Match**

He smiled and took a moment to think about what he could write to break the ice. He wasn’t one to simply write a ' _hey_ '. 

„ _Our eyes are a mirror to the soul… I’d like to take a deeper look into yours._ “ Chuck wrote and attached a picture of his own eyes.

  
For her it was a rare occurrence that someone even matched with her, let alone send her a message.   
Jennifer felt herself getting lost in his eyes. She just couldn’t stop looking at them. He definitely was smiling, even though she couldn’t see it. But his eyes were beaming with happiness. 

„ _Not sure what you want to find, but I just took that one for you_.“ She wrote and attached a new picture of her eyes. It was one of her better days, for sure. Otherwise she wouldn’t even had taken a look into the app. 

  
What Chuck found in her eyes was certainly someone with a dark history. Someone who had suffered a lot. But he was curious.   
They started writing, nearly every day. Or at least Chuck would write her at least once a day. He understood that there were days where Jennifer couldn’t find strength to fight against her mental condition. And that was okay.   
He still hadn’t shown her his full face. But she never seemed to bother about that. 

Two months of just chatting turned into a couple weeks of late night calls. Both certainly more active at night.  
Sometimes Chuck would do most of the talking and Jennifer would just listen.

„Jenny?“ Chuck asked one night, after having a couple glasses of whiskey.  
„Yes, Chuck?“   
„Is today a good day?“ He sounded a little insecure.  
„I think so. Haven’t been anxious in a couple days..“ She said, playing with a small ball with spikes that she used to calm herself down. Everytime she was talking to Chuck she got a little excited and that was something she found weird. Barely anything excited her.

„How about we both head into bed, sleep a couple hours and meet up later? I’d like to invite you for lunch.“ Chuck said, fumbling with his hands.  
„We can try. But I can’t promise you. That’s going to be the very first time in a long time that I’ll meet someone. God, my stomach is already turning… but in a good way.“ Jennifer smiled.  
„I know. And I won’t be upset or anything if you can’t get yourself to meet up with me. I told you… I’m okay with what we have. I just.. I’d like to meet you one day. If not today that’s okay.“ He said and closed his eyes. All his hopes just focused on meeting her. There was a lot she still didn’t knew. For example that he was a well known wrestler.

„I’ll try, Chuckie. I promise. I really want this too.“ Jennifer whispered and maybe what was causing her stomach to turn was a freaking party of thousands of butterflies.

When she woke up a couple hours later they were still there. Just as her good mood. Quickly she grabbed her phone, sending a voice message to Chuck.   
„Hey, it’s me… I’m having a very good feeling about lunch. I’ll just take a quick shower and then I’ll be ready for whatever you’ve got in mind. I’m really happy right now..“

Her radio blasted some good music through her bathroom while she sang under the shower. Even though she was a little scared of meeting him for the first time, she was more than happy to finally meet him.  
Chuck had been there in very dark nights. Talked her through panic attacks and the wish to harm herself. For him she could stay strong. He made her a better version of herself.

When she stepped out of the shower Chuck had replied and sent an address of a small restaurant just a few blocks away.   
Jennifer grabbed a slightly distressed jeans, an old band shirt and a plaid jacket from her closet and got herself dressed before blow-drying her brown, long hair. Lately she had been taking good care of herself, especially her hair, thanks to Chuck. 

Half an hour later she arrived at the restaurant. In front of it she spotted someone with some flowers in front of his face and Jennifer just knew that it was Chuck.  
„My lady…“ he said when she got close, lowering the flowers and smiled at her.  
„Wow“ was the only thing Jennifer could mumble.   
Gently he took her hand and brought it up to his face to place a chaste kiss on the back of it.   
Jennifer felt herself blush. „Hi… Nice to meet you.“ She said when she finally found her voice again.

They had an amazing lunch together, just enjoying each other’s company. It was different than just hearing each other’s voices. Jennifer could finally see how his eyes lit up when he was excited about something. And how he carefully watched her when she was talking about her ups and downs. After a while their hands entangled on the table, just feeling skin on skin.

„You never told me what you do for a living.“ Jennifer said and saw his eyes sparkle with pure joy.  
„I’m a professional wrestler. I guess you’re not into it since you didn’t recognize me. And I’m kinda glad about that.“ He said, his thumb stroking her hand absently.  
„Oh I was.. couple years back. Lost interest somehow and never got back to it. Mostly because blood and violence can trigger me.“   
„I totally understand that. But maybe one day I can take you to a show and you can see me doing crazy shit.“ Chuck laughed, his eyes sparkling like a sea of diamonds in the moonlight.

  
_That first meeting was two years ago_.

Recently Jenny had moved into Chuck’s apartment and they also got a second dog. One they were training to be a support dog for her.   
Still Jennifer hadn’t been to a show with Chuck. Even though she was doing just fine.   
Oftentimes he would come back home and she’d take care of all his cuts and bruises. Some days it really triggered her. He was the one telling her not to hurt herself and even made her promise it. 

  
And she stayed strong because the last thing on earth was to disappoint her boyfriend.  
His way to explain the difference between him getting hurt while wrestling and her cutting herself was that he wasn’t harming himself. That it was just a part of the job and not a way to harm himself.  
And she accepted it. A cook was getting burned from time to time too. Not harming himself on purpose, she guessed.

_Two months later._

„Tomorrow me and Trent are going to win the titles…“ Chuck said during dinner.  
„Really? Wow. That’s amazing, Chuckie. I know how hard you two fought for this moment.“ She leaned over and kissed him.  
„You wanna come and see your boyfriend win them? We could spend the day with the boys and you can watch the match from the front row.“ His eyes sparkled and Jenny couldn’t reject him.  
„Yes. I wanna see you all sweaty and proud.. and I wanna be there for you afterwards to sooth your arching body.“ Jennifer felt a little insecure but she wanted to be there. To support him and to finally be a part of his dream. 

Flying out to Chicago meant a lot of stress for Jennifer but Chuck never left her side. Their hands constantly entangled and so she felt at least a little bit of safety running through her body.  
In their two years she barely met any of his friends. Everytime he asked if she would spent time with them she just refused. Mostly because she was afraid of what they would think. But she never asked him to stay at home or anything like that. He could spend as much time with his friends as he liked.  
In the early afternoon the two arrived at the location and Jennifer felt sick.  
„I promise you, none of them are going to bite. That’s my part.“ He kissed her gently before leading Jenny into the locker room he shared with Trent and Orange.   
She had met Trent once before at Chuck’s birthday a few months prior. He was a nice guy.

Her fear was totally unnecessary, both men accepting her perfectly fine. She was more on the silent side but still enjoyed watching Chuck interact with his best friends. 

Before his title match Chuck made sure Jennifer got her seat in the front row. With some popcorn and a soft drink she settled down next to the wifes of Chuck and Trent’s opponents.

The match went really good, it was fast paced and action packed. Just like she remembered from the days when she was actively watching wrestling.   
After a wild dive through the ropes Chuck landed just a couple feet away. Jennifer jumped out of her seat to watch out for her boyfriend. She could see him fumble with his wrist tape and just seconds later he bought something silver and shiny up to his forehead. Instantly he was bleeding badly.   
He stumbled to his feet to get back into the ring. But Jenny barely noticed it. She was frozen into place. 

  
Two years Chuck had told her that he wasn’t harming himself actively. Two years where he had told her several times how bad it was for her to cut herself. 

She snapped out of her mind when someone landed right in front of her. It was Trent who was bleeding like crazy. Her eyes wandered to the ring where Chuck was still profusely bleeding but finally pinning one of his opponents.

**1\. 2. 3.**

  
**Champions**.

Jennifer had so many thoughts crossing her mind, making it hard to grab onto any of them. She could feel her forearm tingle. It had been months since she last harmed herself…

When Chuck and Trent left the ring she made her way through the crowd to the backstage but instead of heading into their locker room she just wandered around mindlessly. 

She came to an halt in an empty corridor, letting herself glide down the wall. Jenny pressed her nails into the skin of her arm, leaving angry red marks on her skin.  
„Hey, you okay?“ a male voice snapped her out of her trance.  
Slowly she looked up to see someone standing above her. He looked like a wrestler but without gear on.  
„I think I’m lost…“ Jennifer whispered and realized that she was still scratching her arm.  
„Where do you need to go? I’ll help you. Never seen you around. I’m Brandon.“  
„My name is Jennifer. I’m… I’m Chuck’s girlfriend.“ Slowly she got up and tried to hide her arms behind her back. Brandon said nothing but helped her to the locker room Chuck, Trent and Orange were sitting in.

Silently she stood there at the door, looking at Chuck. He still had blood all over his face but his eyes were filled with nothing but happiness. The title belt looked amazing on him, for sure.

„Jenny!“ Chuck said and walked over to wrap his arms around her.  
„Don’t…“ she whispered, trying to free herself from his embrace.  
„Sorry…“ he said, letting her go. „I’ll quickly clean myself. Just give me a minute.“ Chuck said and took off the belt to hold it towards his girlfriend.   
„No, Chuck. Wait…. We need to talk. Right now.“ Jennifer was shaking.  
„We’ll leave.“ Orange said and grabbed a bottle of water before getting up. 

  
When he and Trent had left Jennifer started crumbling, tears rolling down her face.  
„How long, Chuck? How long have you been lying to me? I saw you cut your forehead open. I can’t remember how many times you told me how bad it is to cut myself. How many times I told you that your wounds looked like they were done with a freaking blade and you told me no?“ 

  
Chuck was startled. „Jenny.. it’s.. it’s part of my job. I don’t do that to leave scars or to feel alive. I do that for a living. Blood is what keeps people interested. I barely ever cut. They asked me earlier. I was dumb and I am absolutely sorry. I know what I’ve said a million times…“ Chuck let the belt fall to the floor, holding his hand out. „I promise you I won’t do it again on purpose. I love you, Jennifer. I really do.“ his eyes were filled with tears.

She took his hand, holding it lightly. „I feel triggered, Chuckie. My arms are tingly and I can barely think straight. Please don’t let me be alone…“  
„I won’t. You’ll stay by my side. Now and forever. I’ll talk to Tony tomorrow that I don’t cut ever again. I swear.“  
Gently his lips met hers, their tears mixing together.

Chuck held his promise. In the end he saw what it did to her and that pain wasn’t something he wanted to see ever again. 

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to hear some opinions on that topic...  
> As someone who is dealing with self-harm it's a stretch to watch wrestlers do it for 'no real reason' and be constantly told not to.
> 
> I came up with this idea after watching Trent cut himself on Dynamite a couple weeks ago.. 
> 
> So please feel free to comment your way of thinking. I'm really open for any explanation/excuse ;)


End file.
